Sunday, April 24, 2011

The Lovely Disappointment of books turned into feature films

The Lovely Bones written by Alice Sebold
I read this when I was in high school and loved it, I'd always mentioned it to people in search of a book recommendation. It tells the story of Susie Salmon at age 14, she is a perfectly normal girl who gets raped and murdered by a sketchy neighbor and then she watches down on the world she left for the remainder of the novel. It's beautifully written and original, at first the idea of this is terrifying, reading this as a young girl, thinking oh my God this stuff actually happens. However, the rest of the book makes up for it, Susie's heaven is so imaginative and the story of how her family continues is so honest. Alice Sebold gives you a 'fly on the wall' perspective of how the death of a child affects a family for years to come. This is one of my favorite books and when I heard it was being made into a movie I was thrilled and when I found out Peter Jackson (also the mastermind of Lord of the Rings & King Kong) was directing it I was even more psyched to see it. It came out in 2009, it stars Mark Wahlberg, Rachel Weisz (ugh) and Stanley Tucci. This movie was such a disappointment, it is the worst movie made from a book I've ever seen. Now, I like to give filmmakers the benefit of the doubt when it comes to turning print into picture, I think of it in the perspective that they are two completely different art forms. The movie is just the directors interpretation of the book. I understand they can't live up to every little detail and I am forgiving of that most of the time. This however I find completely inexcusable. I have always adored Peter Jackson and had much higher expectations.

The only redeeming qualities were Mark Wahlberg and Stanley Tucci, everyone else was a joke. I don't even want to mention their names, that's how disappointed I was in the casting. Now I wouldn't have chosen Mark or Stanley for the roles they were given either, but they did what they were supposed to do...act. Susie has an annoying breathy voice that is so hard to get past, Ruth & Ray Singh, the strange duo of Susie's classmates were just reading lines, grandma was overacted, the sister was boring and Susie's mother was played way too safe. Guilt, shame, sorrow, restlessness, and grief were the characteristics that made her a tormented soul and in the movie she plays a one dimensional middle aged woman who you don't identify with, such a shame to let a great role fall so flat.

The killer was spot on, not too overdone, not too camoflagued in the neighborhood, just right. He looked like he should have looked, he talked like he should have talked. He was evil and mundane at the same time, easily looked over by the rest of the neighborhood, but once looked at it was made abundantly clear he was a twisted man. The scene where he shows Susie his secret basement room he's built under the cornfield, where she is raped and murdered, is incredibly uncomfortable to watch. I think it's very weird that this is the one scene that's done well. This is also how you feel as reading this in print, you think I don't want to be here, this is out of my comfort zone, this is wrong, and you can do so by putting the book down, walking away, taking a smoke break and coming back later. Susie doesn't have this luxury though, she is helpless, harmless, innocent and naive, that is what makes this book so tragic. I think Alice Sebold is one of those authors who has to go to beat you over the head with what's going on to get her point across, now I realize authors must do this, but there's a certain way to do it. And when you're talking about rape you don't want to freak out your reader. I also think some of the parts they put in the movie were completely unneccessary. I don't think they should have gone into so much detail about how he killed the other girls, I think either just mentioning it some different way or leaving it out all together would have been more effective, they did not need to give you a visual of where these girls were killed and show you dead bodies. Not that they are mutilated or gorey or even scary but it's just disturbing that they went to lengths to plan that scene out the way it was.


Susie explains her heaven very vividly, but what should have been breathtaking was so obviously computer generated, and done in such a bad way that these scenes looked like those stupid 80's posters teenage girls would hang on there walls with unicorns on them. Now some parts of her heaven didn't give me the same thoughts, some were done very well like the woods or when she's walking up to the lighthouse those were beautiful, but a few small parts of pretty film don't keep me from being so very disappointed. So in case you feel like watching a movie that had so much potential but instead you find yourself holding back vomit, this one's for you!Farewell for now & happy viewing!

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Buried Treasure

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007) Directed by Gore Verbinski

Starring Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom & Keira Knightley

A few weeks ago when my boyfriend stated he had not seen the entire Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy, he was lent the movies by a friend of ours. I also had not seen them since they were released in theatres so I was excited to watch them again. My favorite of the trio is "At World's End". By the time you get to the last movie there is a thick story line that you are completely enveloped in, a love story between Elizabeth and Will, a conflict between the East India Trading Co. and the pirates, and the question of whether or not Jack Sparrow is even in the movie. A pirate war ensues when Elizabeth Swan is named Pirate King, the Flying Dutchman gets a new captain, and they show you how to successfully flip a pirate ship. Several scenes stand out in my mind, the first one is when they are in the middle of a huge battle and Barbosa marrys Will and Elizabeth. Sure, some people might think it's corny but I think it's super cute they're swordfighting and yelling their vows, but it's one of those priceless Disney scenes where you can't help but smile and hope your friends aren't watching you. The other scene that I love occurs when the Flying Dutchman and the Black Pearl are on either side of the East India Trading Co. ship, the Endeavor, blowing it to bits and you see Beckett walking down the stairs while chunks of the ship are flying everywhere and he knows he has been defeated. The cinematography and beautiful scenes stand out in all the movies, the costumes are intricate, the ships are breath taking and the special effects of the crew and ship of the Flying Dutchman make you think these supernatural sea creatures/human pirates actually existed when pirates ruled the seas.

This series of blockbusters drags you in and doesn't let go, Johnny Depp was perfectly cast for the leading man. Captain Jack Sparrow is an eccentric pirate who steals the scenes he is in, it's hard to believe someone else could have played this role. Michael Keaton and Christopher Walken were both considered for this funny pirate pimp with flawless dredlocks. As much as I love Christopher Walken I'm glad they went the route they did.

The popularity of these movies was worldwide and thanks to Disney they are family films appealing to everyone and this was proved at the box office. Curse of the Black Pearl (2003) earned $305,413,918, Dead Man's Chest (2006) $423,315,812 and At World's End (2007) $309,420,425. The next installment "On Stranger Tides" comes out next month in 3D, this will star Johnny Depp of course and Penelope Cruz, and follow the story of Capt. Sparrow on his quest for the Fountain of Youth. Farewell for now & happy viewing!

Friday, April 22, 2011

Love & Distrust--- Just say no!







This movie sucks you into a false sense of interest by dangling great actors in your face. You think "Oh! Amy Adams, James Franco, Robert Pattinson hmmm....I've never heard of this before, this may be worth checking out." If you find yourself thinking this, DON'T and go watch Inception or something. This movie is far too long and is the biggest disappointment since Wicker Man. It's split up into several short films the first one starring Robert Pattinson isn't too bad, but no definite story line. This theme continues, but they get worse and worse as it goes on. I have the list of movies I've never seen and then there is another list, a much more sacred list, a list that weighs heavily on my mind until it is crossed out in full. It is a list of movies starring my favorite actor, ROBERT DOWNEY JR. I have seen 40 of his 62 movies and had to watch this one as it is on the list, I have to watch them all from start to finish or the list just wouldn't hold the same sense of accomplishment to me when complete. I've literally watched movies he's been in for a total of 5 seconds. (In Girls Just Want to Have Fun, he pops up from under a table....that's all folks) So, just my luck, he is in the last short and is in it for about 5 minutes and this particular short has a really low production value, terrible camera work, the audio sucks and all the actors just sound like they're speaking up to be picked up on the mic. I can only hope he agreed to being in this movie when he was still on drugs. And the worst part of it all is I OWN THIS MOVIE. I don't think I could pay a respectable movie fan to watch this, maybe as it sits on my movie shelf and I glance at it from time to time I'll just remember what a horrible experience this all was and shutter. It doesn't even have the Talladega Nights factor, where the more you watch it the better it gets, it just plain sucks. I don't know, nor do I care, who wrote or directed it, all I know is I want them slapped. My poor boyfriend suffered through it as I watched, he is very supportive of my obsession with Downey and for the most part enjoys the movies I force him to watch. I do not recommend this movie to anyone unless you are trying to rid yourself of a houseguest. I give this poorly constructed movie one step above a raunchy porno.


I call this photo "Brandy after dentist: Part One"


Now for a little update on my personal life. Last night I was trying to make an account on my car loan company's website and for some reason was unable to, a page popped up instructing me to call the customer service number which I did and I get greeted by a super sexy voice telling me she was hot and wet for me. Initially I am furious, this is who I've been sending my monthly payments to? After hanging up with this siren of the phone world I realize I've dialed the wrong number, one digit off. Whoopsy!!! I called it back just for a good laugh at the greeting which I needed after a long day at work, I really hope I don't get charged. This morning I am driving to work and I decided to skip my daily stop at the gas station to get my morning Mountain Dew and it's a pretty typical drive until some guy decides to pull out completely in front of me and I almost T-Bone him, I slammed on my brakes and I can only imagine my facial expression was something of sheer terror and I look up at this creep and he is there completely emotionless just stopped in front of my car, I was really shaken up and was anxious for the next hour and a half. My wisdom teeth come out Friday, I met with the oral surgeon today, which got me out of work 3 hours early (awesome). I was still nervous to drive and was being even more cautious than I usually am. It was a weird experience, it was a dark little office, I filled out the necessary forms and was taken back to the room by a nurse who didn't introduce herself, or talk much at all. She put a video on for me that outlined the procedure, which I thought was a very impersonal way of informing me of what was gonna go down, I can see why they do this though, they probably have to repeat the speech 50 times a day. (This dental video was even better than the aforementioned film) The doctor then came in, also not introducing himself to me, spoke with me for about 5 minutes and then sent me on my way. I've been pretty nervous about the whole thing but his nonchalantness of it all put me at ease. I assume I'll be pretty chipmunk like most of next weekend but should be all set to empty out my dvr with some movies I've been saving like The Untouchables, True Grit (the original with John Wayne) and Space Jam (just for old times sake). I think I may even watch Gone with the Wind with all this free time. Tomorrow to celebrate the easter holiday my boyfriend and our two best friends are watching Ten Commandments and making deviled eggs, should be a great time. Farewell for now & happy viewing!

Sunday, April 17, 2011

sin city

SIN CITY


A dark place full of cigarettes, violence, sex and booze. I'd seen this movie once and I didn't really get it, I wasn't nearly as into movies then though. I decided to give it another chance since now I am alot more familiar with the cast of this violent thriller.


This is based on Frank Miller's graphic novels, he is also known for Watchmen & 300. It stars Mickey Rourke, Benicio Del Toro, Clive Owen and Elijah Wood. Directed by Robert Rodriguez who has also directed Planet Terror, Desperado, From Dusk till Dawn and surprisingly...Spy Kids...


I am a fan of graphic novels and this star studded cast and fast paced thriller makes you feel like you are turning the pages of a comic book. I like that they stayed true to that with the cinematography and color choice. It is a book and they wanted it to look like you were a part of the story, not just an observer.


You follow the stories of Marv & Goldie, Hartigan & Nancy Callahan, Dwight & Jackie Boy.

Frank Miller has a gift for words and Robert Rodriguez has a gift for film and together they create cinema history. Movies like this, the Matrix, What Dreams May Come, A Scanner Darkly & Inception all have thought provoking stories and make your eyeballs orgasm.


When I was in college I was asked to write a paper about a romantic hero and I chose Rocky Balboa from the Rocky series. Looking back I should have chosen Marv, he is a large simple man who is not to be reckoned with, seriously he will blow your freaking head off. He has a remarkable one night stand with a hooker named Goldie, when he wakes up he finds her dead. The rest of his part in the story is finding her killer to butcher him. He eventually finds his loves killer in the form of a creepy cannibalistic pipsqueak called Kevin (Elijah Wood) if you haven't seen this just think of Kevin as Harry Potter's super creepy twin brother wearing Chuck Taylor's and a Charlie Brown sweater. Marv finally gets his revenge but not without a price. He is a brilliant, beautiful character who has some of the best lines in this movie, my favorite being "Hell's waking up everyday and not even knowing why you're here." Thank you Mickey Rourke, thank you. Keep up the good work, loved you in the Wrestler by the way.


To wrap up I really appreciated this movie, except for a few very small aspects (prime example Rosario Dawson's weird hair) I hope film makers continue to create movies like this, do we really need Scream 4 AND Fast and Furious 5? Farewell for now & happy viewing!




Superman

Superman: The Movie (1978) Directed by Richard Donner



Starring Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman & Margot Kidder



At the beginning of this classic we are on Krypton. It seems like a nice enough place to live, the locals, friendly but strict. The exterior of the planet is covered in ice and crystal, they hold a trial for 3 individuals they do not introduce or state (in layman's terms) what they are being tried for. They are dressed differently than the rest of the residents in all black rather than the popular shiny white suits I can only assume were washed in some form of Space Tide with bleach to give them that glittery blinding look. Suddenly, Krypton is collapsing and Superman's father Jor-El (Marlon Brando) and his wife put their newborn baby in a crystal encased coccoon-like object that they set floating out into space and for like 3 years. He eventually lands in Smallville, Kansas and gets brought up in a loving home and lives a somewhat normal life although he knows he is different. The first hour and a half of this movie just about killed me, it's not even really exposition in my opinion, it's just long drawn out scenes. I didn't even think it was remotely interesting until he got the job at the Daily Planet. Since I had never watched this before, I was anxious to see him saving the day and experience the quotes that I've heard my entire life. Well, an hour and 32 minutes into this movie Mr. Kent dons his famous unitard and cape and begins his life as a virtually indestructable superhero. He gets everyone's attention right away by saving Lois Lane from a wayward helicopter and keeping it from plummeting into a crowd of innocent bystanders, she eventually gets an interview with him, however she does not know that he is her admirer Clark Kent, yadda yadda ya, everyone knows the story.....



Lex Luthor (Gene Hackman) is a real estate villain this is my favorite role I've ever seen him play, he is deliciously evil and brilliant. "The greatest criminal mind of our time". He with the "help" of dim witted side kick Otis create an earthquake down the San Andres fault that will wipe out the western portion of California so he can create "Casa del Lex" in the eastern area of California, which he owns. In doing this he kills Lois Lane as she gets sucked into a crack that the earthquake has created, Superman gets there too late, and is so upset he spins the earth backwards and she is brought back to life. Obviously there is a happy ending and he brings the criminals to jail so they can be given a fair trial. However, there was no "It's a bird, it's a plane"... What the heck, should've recorded Superman 2...



I really enjoy Superhero movies, one of my favorite genres, I must admit though I've always preferred Marvel to DC. I love how even though they have all these powers and are constantly plagued by villains and unrequited love they manage to figure it all out and keep us on the edge of our seats. The leading ladies are always real women who are independent and strong, and they're always in love with the celebrity counterpart and not the real man.



My favorite power of Superman's? His politeness and charming nature, it just goes to show that people from Kansas are better =). Christopher Reeve makes this character come to life and jump off the comic book page. I know people ask, how people did not know Superman and Clark Kent were the same person? And I think it's quite possible that people didn't know, I mean he has glasses and his hair is parted on the opposite side. Farewell for now & happy viewing and don't forget what Superman stands for: Truth, Justice and the American Way!















Monday, April 4, 2011

Ghostbusters/ Blues Brothers

Let me preface this entry by saying I love Dan Aykroyd. He first captured my interest when I saw him in My Girl (1991) as the lovable funeral home director and father to Vada. In Tommy Boy (1995) he plays Zalinsky the owner of a chain of auto parts stores with a hilarious midwestern accent and hair as big as his ego.


Favorite Dan Aykroyd quotes:


"We're on a mission from God" -Blues Brothers


"Went a little heavy on the pine tree perfume there, kid?"-Tommy Boy


"You're not gonna lose the house, everybody has three mortgages nowadays" -Ghostbusters



Blues Brothers (1980) Directed by John Landis


This is the story of 2 simple guys, Jake & Elwood Blues. This classic was at the top of my list, I have only seen small parts of Animal House so I was not very familiar with John Belushi. These musical misfits lead you on a hilarious mission, a mission from God. It's full of mega famous stars including Ray Charles and Aretha Franklin. They encounter everything from Illinois nazis to a bazooka toting Carrie Fischer trying to end them. Amazing car chases and catchy tunes make this movie a hilarious classic.


Ghostbusters (1984) Directed by Ivan Reitman


When Halloween rolls around you hear the classics on the radio, Monster Mash, Purple People Eater, Thriller and the theme to Ghostbusters. This movie really never appealed to me but I knew it had to go on my list as I am a fan of sci fi and 80's comedians. Every now and then when someone got stung by a bee in my childhood I'd hear my mom say they were going to swell up like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, and occasionally when channel surfing you see Sigourney Weaver's bathtub taken over by pink slime.


Thanks to Nick at Nite this was on, I dvr'ed it and decided to relax and watch it on a Sunday night before bed. Starting out with a sweet little librarian having books mysteriously flying off the shelf and a generally spookytime. Three scientists show up in the form of Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis soon after they come upon the paranormal infestation they decide to start Ghostbusters, buy a warehouse, a car, hire a receptionist and a fellow ghostbuster. There are plenty of great quotes and Rick Moranis rounds out the all star cast. There isn't much I can say about this movie as it is a classic and everyone has seen it. If you haven't seen it do and if you have seen it, watch it again. That night I was having nightmares about ghosts and Spongebob Squarepants as a pirate.... As much as I love thought provoking films, I am a sucker for a lighthearted romp in a semi sci fi world or singing Raw Hide in a country western bar. Farewell for now & happy viewing!

Friday, April 1, 2011

extract/ode to Clifton


Extract (2009) Directed by Mike Judge (who is also credited for Beavis & Butthead, King of the Hill & the classic 9-5 nightmare Office Space.) Starring Jason Bateman, Kristen Wiig & Ben Affleck.

This movie wasn't on my list but I was thinking about Mila Kunis (after watching Black Swan... more on that later...) and I totally forgot that she was in this movie. My expectations weren't too high with this one, but the main reason I wanted to see it was because Clifton Collins Jr was in it, whom I love, his performaces in Capote & Traffic were outstanding. He initially caught my attention in Rules of Attraction as the paranoid coke dealer, ever since then I've always loved watching him, he is so diverse he's played everything from a cold blooded, yet poetic murderer (Capote) to a charming one armed shop owner who sells cleaning products (Sunshine Cleaning).


As I stated my expectations weren't too high, but I was pleasantly surprised at this comedy. I enjoy Jason Bateman as the owner of an extract plant, he is so passionate about food flavoring, it's adorable. This warehouse has a lovable cast of characters including TJ Miller & JK Simmons all with their own quirks and idiosyncrasies then a super sexy con artist/kleptomaniac (Mila Kunis) gets hired as a temp and shakes things up. Clifton Collins Jr plays a simple worker who due to an unfortunate but hilarious accident loses a testicle.... Mila Kunis's character convinces him to file a lawsuit from his work related injury, and hires an eccentric lawyer played by none other than master of rock, the tongue flailing... Gene Simmons. So while Jason Bateman is dealing with running an extract company and the stress of a lawsuit, he has suspicions that his wife (Kristen Wiig) is having an affair with their dim witted pool guy, his best friend (Ben Affleck) is trying to convince him to be unfaithful to his wife with the new sexy temp and to experiment with many many different kinds of pills, and deal with the most obnoxious neighbor of all time. And Mike Judge does not disappoint. This is a hilarious, heart warming and feel good movie for the working class. Farewell for now & happy viewing!